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The podcast where we discuss real life shenanigans your mama was too shy to talk about.


"Dear Abby, Dear Abby! Well I never thought...That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught!  We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze...With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees. Signed Just Married"  Today's podcast really takes the cake!  Everyone has heard of "Dear Abby" unless they live under a rock - hint, hint Daisy...  We decided to lay it down ZFG style.  Folks, if you're dealing with a teeny weenie tic tac dingy, don't fret.  Just apply some oral foreplay gel with a mint flavor and put it in your mouth.  Voilla!  He's satisfied and your breath is better.  Questions covered involve a fist full in the hoo-ha, fishy smelling chow and your cousin Ben getting a finger in his rear-end.  Feeling like a third wheel in your relationship?  We have the answer - peanut butter!  Or maybe you are contemplating being a freak in the sheets "50 Shades of Grey" fashion.  Look Mom!  No hands!!!...  Or limbs for that matter.  Anyone else out there fascinated with sink holes in pink pastures?!  I am!!!  This episode gets real spicy, like jalapeno spicy, with our guests Chris and The Duchess from @HTNOS Podcast!  As always, thank you to our listeners and our participants!  You are valued, not by us but someone out there in La La Land...

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April 26, 2019

Episode 27- AD-dick-TION

"And its been a while, Since I could say that I wasn't addicted"

Let's bypass all these common ad-DICK-tions like tobacco, cocaine and meth and go straight to the strange like making love to Grandma's. Or eating your mattress pad. Anybody want a taste of brick, a spray or two of air freshener? Terri's a Filebertoholic, Heather's a more of a sex addict and I'm definitely addicted to food. Is rapping your own bellybutton an addiction? Because ya, I failed to mention that. Is it really all in our head or is it in our blood? The struggle is real and so is making love to your Grandma. Sounds like we all need rehab, I just hope they don't serve snacks at overeaters anonymous.

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"I smoke 2 joints in the morning, I smoke 2 joints at night, I smoke 2 joints in the afternoon, it make me feel alright!" We celebrate 420 on this episode with Heather inviting her and TJ's good friends the Peterson's on the show. Two of the biggest pot heads they know. Try and keep up with them and you wont be able to get off the couch. Of course TJ has to sit in on this episode so he joins them as well! There no chance he's missing out in this smoke fest. We talk about functioning everyday life and smoking weed. We All share stories of first times smoking weed! Kids these days are spoiled with there fucking seedless strains and vape pens. What ever happened to smoking out of a soda can?? We have a plethora of THC and CBD oils to infuse our drinks, pass a few joints around, do a dab or two. We talk about expanding our minds with other drugs like mushrooms, acid, pcp, and who knows what else. Its a bit foggy to tell you the truth. 

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"And to drink a Coca-Cola, Diet Coke, and orange drink, A Sprite and coffee, decaf too, A lowfat milk, also an orange juice. I love McDonald’s, good time great taste, and I get this all at one place."  McDonald's should have included a disclosure in that song about how hot their coffee is.  I mean, it's fuckin' coffee!  It's not supposed to be that hot, right?....  Insert eye roll here.  If some crazy bitch can sue for lack of common sense, can I sue for getting stale fries instead of fresh, hot, salty ones?  Because to be honest, I'm NOT lovin' it...  This is just the tip of the iceberg y'all.  There are so many outlandish lawsuits out there, it makes you wonder when the circus will end.  We mock a few cases, from the McDonald's coffee hater to whiplash from big titties and all the way over to PETA trying to protect the macaque (pronounced muh-cock) monkey's selfie as a copyright issue...  Whether you agree with these lawsuits or disagree with them, this episode is sure to amuse you in some fashion!  Hate it, love it - honestly, we don't give a fuck.  We just want to thank Norwegian for bringing our Donkey back safely!  Those cruise ships never fail to stay out of the news.  And what the fuck is Dave trying to pull from Man Brain Podcast?!  We know it's him running around with a big stinky pile of poo mask on, posing to be Hank...  

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A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE. The most appropriate show in ZFGP history. Mrs. Jean Buechler born in 1924 has seen a lot of things in her lifetime. Heather has the pleasure of caring for her on the daily so knows her stories are one's to be remembered. She has a very special place in our hearts and we hope that she touches your heart's too. This episode is dedicated to Lauren Raftery Deise who was a big supporter of our podcast. She was taken to soon. We planned on having her on and for that I (Heather) deeply regret.  Cheers to you in Heaven girl, I know you are having a glass of wine with Jesus. 

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"Licks and moans may quake my bones, but dames with dicks excite me!!!"  HaHAA!  There are so fucking many fetishes, it's hard to keep track.  We all know about S&M, choking and shit of that nature.  You know, the more popular shit.  But what about the dirty little kinks that nobody speaks about?  We're talking feet fuckers, body part munchers, mannequin molesters, dung stompers and then some...  There is no shortage of abnormal fixations for your little heart to desire or get off on.  If you can think it, it shall be.  Best believe there is someone out there making it rain golden showers in the name of R. Kelly.  So grab a seat, sit back and get ready to discover some new possibilities for your love life.  And if you're driving that beautiful hot rod, park it somewhere safe (or not) while you listen and pleasure yourself with edible cock-resembling veggies....  WHAT?!  It's no secret you fuck that cucumber on the regular...  Frankly, you're not alone...

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